answering THE question:

I was speaking with my best friend the other day. We were talking about this path of life and the meaning of it all. She told me that her pastor shared last Sunday morning that we all have a question that God has placed within us that needs to be answered. I told her that sounds like “City Slickers-theology" (at which she balked at said notion)…case in point:

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is? [holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean s***.
Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"
Curly: [smiles] That's what *you* have to find out.

So as we processed this idea, we both realized we have a dilemma: we are not even sure what the question is (for either of us). How does one provide an answer when the question is unknown? I have a guess as to what the question is, but how do I know if it’s the right one?

Steve stated in his message few weeks ago that spirituality manifests itself from the inside out, not outside in. I assume then, that it’s not the outward stuff God wants me to deal with (ie: changing my looks-if I could, mannerisms, etc) but rather it’s the stuff of the soul. I struggle with forgiving myself for a million different things…probably because I am powerless to change the past…and that ‘falling short’ thing bugs me a lot. And so I realize that my intimacy wall remains in tact (although a few bricks have fallen)…and because of the wall God is shouting his question (but I can only faintly hear it), “Why won’t you let Me love you?”

It’s funny, ironic—the answer is painful, but He would provide such relief, if I let Him.

Authorization at 2:55 am

My phone rang loudly this morning at 2:55 am. I panicked, thinking that there must be an emergency somewhere. To my horror, it was an ADT alarm systems rep asking to speak with a Julie Evans. I asked, “why in the world are you calling me at 2:30 am (i guessed)?!.” The operator replies, “I am authorized to call you at this time.” I freaked out. “Don’t ever call this number again,” I replied…to which she said, “you’d rather be called between 9:00 am and 5:00 pm?” I was ready to kill…seriously, I was so angry—but I had enough sense about me to say, “add me to your freakin’ ‘do not call’ list right now!” I then hung up. I could not sleep without thinking of notifying “Six on Your Side” (WSYX) and having them investigate. And by the way…the individual spoke perfect English. She was not some lady working ridiculous hours overseas as a telemarketer.

Fuming, I am.

Now a teenager...

taylor turned 13 this week. i am so proud of the young lady she has become. i remember the scene above, and the 24 hours leading up to it, like it was yesterday. taylor, you weren't quite there yet, so here's how it went:

i get to the hospital with labor pains ~10 minutes apart. of course, after getting settled into a hospital room, things start slowing down. once labor picked back up, i took a shot of nubain, which made contractions worse when i woke from a short nap. i puked up some chinese stir-fry and found the only way i could handle the pain was by wiggling both of my big toes. i eventually opted for an epidural (your father was in shock over the needle size) which didn't take...so the toes kept wiggling. the second epidural worked and knocked me out. when i woke up, both my legs were hiked up beside my head and the doctor was running wires to you (yes, you were still inside). we soon found out your heart rate was too fast and you were running a fever. i had also stopped dilating. the doctor wanted to do a c-section and i quickly said ok. right before the above picture was taken, i asked your father if the doctor had started cutting me, to which he said, "julie, i think your uterus is lying on your stomach." when i heard you cry i felt relief. when i saw your face, i spontaneously cried.

you were beautiful, and you still are.

SCHOOLS OUT!!!

Hey everyone its me Taylor. So i am soooo excited that school is out. My last day was the best. But I didn't like it when we had to go to the 8th grade premotion. When we got back to our classroom we played card games like Bullcrap, Slap Jack, and War. Everyone had so much fun. after that we watched the movie Cars. I love that movie.
Now that school is out I just hang out at the pool. If I am not doing that then i just sit around the house and just watch the old boob tube. It is fun for the most part. Well i have to go. talk to all of you later.
-Taylor Evans

The Fruitcake Lady (she's a bit edgy!)

I'll let her speak for herself:)
*Rated PG 13?

Click below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnudM458uz8

Some people have stated that she's obnoxious and opinionated, which she was. Is it okay for the older generation to be that way? We certainly give them some grace in that area, I think. I believe I would have been frightened of her if she were my grandmother...but then again, I don't think she was anyone's grandmother!

-juj

Moving day...

Most of you know I work for Pike County Children Services. Daily, either myself or my co-workers are taken on rollercoaster rides of emotion. I believe the community at large doesn't understand what/who we deal with. I sometimes don't know how we all cope; denial helps, and so does crying.

I hate moving day...when a foster child is placed in a new home. I had to do that today as a child was moved for no fault of his/her own. Tonight, he/she will place his/her head on a pillow (that may be his/hers) and sleep in a foreign bed, with new noises and nuances. And I have to expect that he/she will adjust just fine...or else a new move will come.

Taylor has had some difficulty lately sleeping in a new room, a new bed...adjusting to different noises and nuances in a house that she feels is not totally hers (at her father's in Beaver). I can't fix it for her...I have to expect that she will adjust just fine...and all this is of no fault of her own.

I have told her that, no one marries thinking they will divorce.
Peace is sometimes difficult to find...for Taylor and myself.
But God is good. really.

Quick Review: Spiderman 3

Wait for the DVD.
Roeper's review of the movie is actually dead-on.

Taylor and I and my nephew, Ian, braved the crowds and went on opening night. The movie itself was a letdown, but we had fun nonetheless.

Taylor and I haven't seen any really good movies lately. We still highly recommend "The Holiday" (it just makes you feel good!) and "Little Miss Sunshine" (unconditional love is a beautiful thing).

Later,

-juj