i have made the leap into 'middle age'. a friend of mine and i talk about having a "10 year rule": we like to think that we (maybe) look and act at least 10 years younger than our age. it's a nice thought.
about a month or so ago, steve (my pastor) asked me to speak about the practice of examen of conscience/consciousness, in light of psalm 139. in a nutshell, you are to simply give thanks to god for his presence (whether noticed or not) in your day, and then, ask god to point out character that is not representative of christ (moving beyond obtuse sins to those that are more secretive/hidden). so i decided to "examen" the 30's decade of my life in such a manner.
details...i'd rather not bore you with, and those that have joined me on the journey are aware of those nonetheless. the path is riddled with relational ups and downs; the word dysfunction took on a new meaning as my sins and choices (and the choices of those around me) yielded consequences that tangibly now affect my daughter. but god is one who does give us beauty for ashes. and while one of my greatest concerns is for the emotional health of taylor, when i "examen" the last decade, i have missed god's protection of her...rather, i have taken it for granted.
i am always amazed at how paths cross and how god interjects conversations, laughter, tears, and truth into our lives using old and new friends. i imagine god as the consummate chess player; i don't often understand the strategy. but "examen" challenges me to at least look for it and embrace it.
a fellow-path-traveler once told me, "i pray god's lenses for you today."
i pray the same for you as well.
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jules!!!
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