Update (again)

Hey everyone, Taylor again. Well since mom doesn't like to update you guys I thought I would. So, I started basketball for my first year. I really like it because it is such an active sport. I have to play for the 7th grade team because it is my first year. there are other girls on the team who are in 8th grade too, though. we got our first win on saturday the 15th against Chillicothe. we won 18-17. Scored the last point with 7 seconds left (point made by Lauren Strientenburger or however you spell her last name.)My heart was pounding out of my chest. But we won and i was soooooo happy!!! my friend Becky and i have gotten really close since playing basketball. We help each other get pumped up before a game.
Well i better go, i hear a grilled cheese sandwitch calling my name.

Update

I know we have not blogged since july so i thought i would. I started 8th grade this year and its been great. But sometimes Jodi comes into the classroom and hugs me and kisses me. it's kind of emmbarresing (even though it sounds sweet). we took our 1st Algerbra test last week and I got a 91%. not bad for the first time. But we had a quiz a couple of days ago and didn't do so well (unless you count a 40% good). Well i got to go. if you haven't yet, check out our home answering machine. Later!!!

answering THE question:

I was speaking with my best friend the other day. We were talking about this path of life and the meaning of it all. She told me that her pastor shared last Sunday morning that we all have a question that God has placed within us that needs to be answered. I told her that sounds like “City Slickers-theology" (at which she balked at said notion)…case in point:

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is? [holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean s***.
Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"
Curly: [smiles] That's what *you* have to find out.

So as we processed this idea, we both realized we have a dilemma: we are not even sure what the question is (for either of us). How does one provide an answer when the question is unknown? I have a guess as to what the question is, but how do I know if it’s the right one?

Steve stated in his message few weeks ago that spirituality manifests itself from the inside out, not outside in. I assume then, that it’s not the outward stuff God wants me to deal with (ie: changing my looks-if I could, mannerisms, etc) but rather it’s the stuff of the soul. I struggle with forgiving myself for a million different things…probably because I am powerless to change the past…and that ‘falling short’ thing bugs me a lot. And so I realize that my intimacy wall remains in tact (although a few bricks have fallen)…and because of the wall God is shouting his question (but I can only faintly hear it), “Why won’t you let Me love you?”

It’s funny, ironic—the answer is painful, but He would provide such relief, if I let Him.

Authorization at 2:55 am

My phone rang loudly this morning at 2:55 am. I panicked, thinking that there must be an emergency somewhere. To my horror, it was an ADT alarm systems rep asking to speak with a Julie Evans. I asked, “why in the world are you calling me at 2:30 am (i guessed)?!.” The operator replies, “I am authorized to call you at this time.” I freaked out. “Don’t ever call this number again,” I replied…to which she said, “you’d rather be called between 9:00 am and 5:00 pm?” I was ready to kill…seriously, I was so angry—but I had enough sense about me to say, “add me to your freakin’ ‘do not call’ list right now!” I then hung up. I could not sleep without thinking of notifying “Six on Your Side” (WSYX) and having them investigate. And by the way…the individual spoke perfect English. She was not some lady working ridiculous hours overseas as a telemarketer.

Fuming, I am.

Now a teenager...

taylor turned 13 this week. i am so proud of the young lady she has become. i remember the scene above, and the 24 hours leading up to it, like it was yesterday. taylor, you weren't quite there yet, so here's how it went:

i get to the hospital with labor pains ~10 minutes apart. of course, after getting settled into a hospital room, things start slowing down. once labor picked back up, i took a shot of nubain, which made contractions worse when i woke from a short nap. i puked up some chinese stir-fry and found the only way i could handle the pain was by wiggling both of my big toes. i eventually opted for an epidural (your father was in shock over the needle size) which didn't take...so the toes kept wiggling. the second epidural worked and knocked me out. when i woke up, both my legs were hiked up beside my head and the doctor was running wires to you (yes, you were still inside). we soon found out your heart rate was too fast and you were running a fever. i had also stopped dilating. the doctor wanted to do a c-section and i quickly said ok. right before the above picture was taken, i asked your father if the doctor had started cutting me, to which he said, "julie, i think your uterus is lying on your stomach." when i heard you cry i felt relief. when i saw your face, i spontaneously cried.

you were beautiful, and you still are.

SCHOOLS OUT!!!

Hey everyone its me Taylor. So i am soooo excited that school is out. My last day was the best. But I didn't like it when we had to go to the 8th grade premotion. When we got back to our classroom we played card games like Bullcrap, Slap Jack, and War. Everyone had so much fun. after that we watched the movie Cars. I love that movie.
Now that school is out I just hang out at the pool. If I am not doing that then i just sit around the house and just watch the old boob tube. It is fun for the most part. Well i have to go. talk to all of you later.
-Taylor Evans

The Fruitcake Lady (she's a bit edgy!)

I'll let her speak for herself:)
*Rated PG 13?

Click below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnudM458uz8

Some people have stated that she's obnoxious and opinionated, which she was. Is it okay for the older generation to be that way? We certainly give them some grace in that area, I think. I believe I would have been frightened of her if she were my grandmother...but then again, I don't think she was anyone's grandmother!

-juj

Moving day...

Most of you know I work for Pike County Children Services. Daily, either myself or my co-workers are taken on rollercoaster rides of emotion. I believe the community at large doesn't understand what/who we deal with. I sometimes don't know how we all cope; denial helps, and so does crying.

I hate moving day...when a foster child is placed in a new home. I had to do that today as a child was moved for no fault of his/her own. Tonight, he/she will place his/her head on a pillow (that may be his/hers) and sleep in a foreign bed, with new noises and nuances. And I have to expect that he/she will adjust just fine...or else a new move will come.

Taylor has had some difficulty lately sleeping in a new room, a new bed...adjusting to different noises and nuances in a house that she feels is not totally hers (at her father's in Beaver). I can't fix it for her...I have to expect that she will adjust just fine...and all this is of no fault of her own.

I have told her that, no one marries thinking they will divorce.
Peace is sometimes difficult to find...for Taylor and myself.
But God is good. really.

Quick Review: Spiderman 3

Wait for the DVD.
Roeper's review of the movie is actually dead-on.

Taylor and I and my nephew, Ian, braved the crowds and went on opening night. The movie itself was a letdown, but we had fun nonetheless.

Taylor and I haven't seen any really good movies lately. We still highly recommend "The Holiday" (it just makes you feel good!) and "Little Miss Sunshine" (unconditional love is a beautiful thing).

Later,

-juj

Tornado Party...Yee Haw!

As most of you are aware, a tornado (?) came through the area Thursday night, nearly interrupting Grey's Anatomy (whew!!). When Taylor and I caught word, we started calling loved ones and invited those nearby to join us, if needed, in the basement. I called our friend, Lisa, in Piketon to make her aware and I was amazed by her calm! I mean, she never gets worked up about anything, and that includes, apparently, cyclones as well. When I told Lisa that my parents, neighbors, and friends, Dave, Kendra, Isaiah, were at my home, she replied, "well, you all are just having a little tornado party...!" (how dare she make me laugh in the face of tragedy:)) Taylor, on the other hand, looked at me and said, "mom, I'm gonna vomit." Taylor has been deathly afraid of storms since she was younger...the sirens put her over the edge.

Lisa: no fear. Taylor: fear exemplified.
And I began to wonder about the scripture, I John 4:17-18:

"If we truly love others and live as Christ did in this world, we won't be worried about the day of judgment. A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows that we have not really learned to love."

I still struggle with fear, but not too long ago, I was able to share my shame with a few of my closest friends, and they (appear) to still love me. When I did that, I saw that a lot of my fear had left me; they loved me through my confession with God's perfect love and have not abandoned me.

The laws of physics talk about the simple concept of inpenetrability: no two things can occupy the same space at the same time. FEAR VS. LOVE...hmmm.

What do you fear? I'd like to know your thoughts.

"She Just Wants to Dance" -Keb 'Mo

"When the music starts to playin'
She slides out on the floor
Dancing without a partner
Swaying on the two & four

There's a rhythm in her footsteps
And a flower in her hair
A smile on her face
'Cause she's in a place
Where she don´t have a care

She ain't looking for no lover
She ain't looking for a romance
She just wants to dance
She just wants to dance
...Get out the way & let the girl dance."

In the past two years, I've asked friends to "re-teach" me things (ie, safety/normalcy in relationships, boundaries, being okay with myself, understanding I'm not at other's 'beck-and-call"---and to those friends, you have saved my life). Taylor taught me something huge the other night at the wedding reception of our friends, Jimmy & Michaela. As I watched my daughter move and dance in the craziest ways, I found myself admiring her ability to live in the moment regardless of pointing, laughter, and stares. I did not tell her to stop for fear of embarrassment; I wasn't embarrassed...I was in awe.

When do we lose that? Or rather, I should be asking why?

Taylor, you are beautiful!
-juj

This, that, and the other...

Sayings…we all have them…words or phrases we repeat, either out of habit or just to be funny. Around the office, I call it “hen-talk” and, while they are completely insider, I still wanted to share them.

“I’m not very happy ‘bout that.”
“Mornin’ glory!”
“Whad-da-ya gonna do…I don’t know.”
“Your bootifull.”
“Hey babygirl.”
ANYTHING FOLLOWED BY “…he did.”
“woosa”
“you sexy beast”

As for Taylor and I… “float me some fingers!”
-juj

More than a grandfather

Hello everyone. As you may know, my grandfather passed away back in October of 2006. It was very unexpected and took all of us my surprise. Which, falling off of a 3 foot ladder would catch you off guard. I am so proud of my Grandma Sue because she is doing so well. And I will tell you, when I walked in through my grndmas door on Christmas morning I knew somthing was missing. But then I remmembered what my friends had told me "He is still here, you just cannot see him." I completely agree with this statment.
Now when I think of my grandfather, he is not a grandfather to me anymore. Now I realize that he was a best friend that I lost. Somtimes I wish i could go back to the week before he died, just to spend some time with him. I woould give anything to do that. I can now only take comfort in the fact that I will see him again one day in Heaven. Untill than he will just have to keep my seat warm for me.

Holy Examen of Conscience, Batman.

i have made the leap into 'middle age'. a friend of mine and i talk about having a "10 year rule": we like to think that we (maybe) look and act at least 10 years younger than our age. it's a nice thought.

about a month or so ago, steve (my pastor) asked me to speak about the practice of examen of conscience/consciousness, in light of psalm 139. in a nutshell, you are to simply give thanks to god for his presence (whether noticed or not) in your day, and then, ask god to point out character that is not representative of christ (moving beyond obtuse sins to those that are more secretive/hidden). so i decided to "examen" the 30's decade of my life in such a manner.

details...i'd rather not bore you with, and those that have joined me on the journey are aware of those nonetheless. the path is riddled with relational ups and downs; the word dysfunction took on a new meaning as my sins and choices (and the choices of those around me) yielded consequences that tangibly now affect my daughter. but god is one who does give us beauty for ashes. and while one of my greatest concerns is for the emotional health of taylor, when i "examen" the last decade, i have missed god's protection of her...rather, i have taken it for granted.

i am always amazed at how paths cross and how god interjects conversations, laughter, tears, and truth into our lives using old and new friends. i imagine god as the consummate chess player; i don't often understand the strategy. but "examen" challenges me to at least look for it and embrace it.

a fellow-path-traveler once told me, "i pray god's lenses for you today."
i pray the same for you as well.

Friday Night Update

Hey everyone. What is up? I am doing fine (and so is mom). We have our 1st softball game in Piketon on Sunday the 24th and I am so nervous. THis is the first time in a LONG time that I will play catcher in an actual game. I love the position but I am afraid we will lose. We don't even have uniforms. So we have to wear a t-shirt that says Waverly Tigers. We got our socks today and they are not the prettiest thing you will ever see in your life. They are plain black. BLACK!!! That is not my favorite color. In fact I hate the color.
We won 2nd place in the Quiz Bowl Tournament on the 20th. Waverly Orange got 1st. I was on Waverly Black. Well, as said in the last blog by my mom..."I really wanted a trophie but than again you can't wear a trophie". Well I got to go. bye for now. :-)

Normal

I have had more conversations (both in my head and with others) about that word. It’s relative in that there are varying degrees of normal, and while I realize this, I sometimes don’t even see myself sliding anywhere on that scale. What would it be like to wear that label…what if you were known by that: “Good to meet you, I’m Normal.” I remember watching a game show one time and the girl’s name was “Spontaneous”...I digress (I’m not spontaneous either). The dilemma regarding ‘normal’ is its definition. If I go by Webster’s (a: of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development b : free from mental disorder), then I have no problem (but, it feels like there’s a problem somewhere).

Taylor is tremendously normal, and sometimes beautifully more than that. She participated on the school’s “Quiz Bowl” team which won second place Tuesday night. I kissed her goodbye as she was leaving to catch the bus yesterday morning, and noticed she was wearing the ‘gold’ medal that she had won the night before. I confess I was a little uneasy, afraid that other kids would make fun of her for wearing it to school, so I cautiously asked if any of her peers would be wearing the same bling, if you will. She gave me a hesitant, “uh, yeah?” I remember the night before she had stated that “mom, a medal is better than a trophy because you can’t wear a trophy around your neck.” (She’s right…Vogue states that trophy-wearing is out this year, and that it’s all about the medals). So I sent my daughter off in a blaze of glory and watched her strut about 30 yards to the corner.

Is that normal? I don’t really care…that’s my kid, and I love her.
I guess, maybe, that’s what God might think about you and I as well.
Taylor left the house, comfortable in her own skin, content.
Lesson learned.

-juj

our first post...

we are gilmore-girl wannabe(s)...the quick wit, the fast talking...yeah, we love it. more importantly, i guess i relish the close relationshp between rory and lorelei. if you've never seen the show, you'll get hooked. it's quirky, funny yet smart, and real. i think taylor and i are kind of like that...or at least we're working on it.

Sup my home skillet biscuits? nothin' much goin' on down here in lill old Wav town. This is Tay and u know it. <-Taylor
(dear God, why is she writing this crap? i thought it would be inspirational, or something) <- Julie
No I am kiddding I really don't talk like that. I play softball, volleyball, and in my freetime I play Basketball ( but not for the schools team.). I have a 3 year old cat named Smokey Joe (or as reffered to by my grandpa Roger "Stormy"). Me and my mom spend all of our time together and never miss an opportunity to embarrass on another. We are like best friends. We talk about anything we want to. It is just me and her in the house because my parents were divorced when I was 10 years old. My dad is re-married and lives only 20 minuets away. i think that is pretty good compared to some kids who have to travel a long way to see their parents. I am very lucky also because my parents aren't like some divorced couples who can't stand each other. my parents will talk to each other without getting mad at one another. my step mom is awsome. My brothers are a little differant. My little bro Chase listen to al of this rap music that gets on my nerves all of the time. My older bro Michael doesn't talk at all. He is very quite and stays in his room all day. He is a senior in HS and is graduating this year and going to Wright State ( I think???) Well I will stop typing now. Bye from Taylor and Julie. P.S. Gilmore Girls ROCK!!!